Worship

I believe worship is an integral part of not only a church service, but to our daily lives as well. The Lord has blessed me with a wonderful, alto singing voice. I love to sing. At one point in my life, I was singing in an arranged group 6 to 7 days a week, not including practicing in smaller groups or by myself. Worship is awesome. It is key for me to enter into His presence with a right heart and mind. It helps me to leave my troubles and life situations at the door so I can humbly come before Him. I have sang on a number of worship teams in the past, as well as lead worship for a youth group for a time. I could worship for hours at a time without ever realizing it. My problem is this: this world will let you down. The people in it will let you down. The people in this world, no matter how great their relationship is with Christ, can still be used as a tool for Satan without ever knowing it. I have been hurt in the past by some of the pastors and leaders at previous churches that I attended/was a member of. I have not forgiven them. The Lord has brought this to my attention tonight as I am listening to the praise and worship music on Launchcast Radio. I realize that I have developed a bitterness to them for allowing things to happen. It is not their fault, but Satan's. I rebuke you, Satan! I hate you! You are a liar and a thief! God, I pray that you would birth in me forgiveness toward the people in my past that have wounded me. Please send your healing Balm of Gilead to be the salve to these wounds so that I can be healed and move on. Lord, I long to worship you with no cobwebs or dead horses attached. That is too heavy a load for me to carry. Please take it from me now. You alone are worthy of all my praise. You deserve so much more than I can ever offer. Thank you for sending your Son to die for my sins. I am forever grateful. I cannot imagine what that would be like. Take this messed up, trampled heart and forge from it what you see fit for the benefit of your kingdom. I love you, Jesus. Thank you for cultivating this soil in my heart and for continually working our the rocks. I am but a hard lump of clay. Even though I am cracked and dry, lead me to the rock that is higher than I. It's so hard, Lord, to turn off my brain and just focus on you. Please teach me how to do that. Send Your Word to me in ways I am not expecting so that I will see You. It's all about You, my precious Lord Jesus. It is not about me or the music or how anyone looks around me in church. Please help me to remember this and please help me to feel uninhibited to raise my hands again. I know it has been Satan holding me back from lifting my hands in church telling me I cannot because it would be weird or people would look at me. I don't care anymore, Lord. Remind me of this tomorrow morning. Please help me to be the songbird you have created me to be and help me to not worry about what I sound like or if I come in too early. Remind me that NONE of that matters to you, Lord. You don't even care if I can sing a tune in a bucket or not. You just love hearing me sing to you. Help me to do this for Your glory. Amen.