The wonderful age of almost 5

My DD has a friend who lives down the hall from our apartment. Her mom has 3 children total, with two different dads. She does not have full custody, only every Wednesday and every other weekend. This perplexes me, but I am not close to the mother, so I have not felt it is my place to ask why this is. We have talked cordially about raising kids, the trouble they get into, sicknesses, the normal stuff moms talk about. The girls started playing outside together, but the other little girl is not here much. When she is here, either with or without her older brother and sister, they are only here a couple of hours and you see the mom go in with her work uniform on and come out a couple of hours later dressed up in fancy clothes with hair and makeup done, and she whisks the kids off. Even when the kids aren't with her, this seems to be her pattern on the days she comes here. To go into her apartment and come out later seemingly ready to "go out". Where else would someone go dressed up?

Anyways, I received a call from the mom yesterday about 1pm asking me if little girl could please spend the night and if I could watch her till mom got out of work on Sunday at about 2 or 3 pm. I felt like I needed to do this. Here are the reasons: 1) I never know when I may need someone to watch my kids, so I try to be available even if I don't want to. (Plus it's kinda hard to say no to a neighbor when you live in the same building and you are gonna be home all night and they can see that.) 2) I am constantly striving to be more Christ-like and I know that He would want me to do it 3) I feel bad for little girl always getting pawned off on different people. She says she doesn't sleep here very much; that most of the time she stays with her dad. And he doesn't do anything with her. (According to her.) She is almost 6, by the way, and has never been to preschool and will start kindergarten in the fall. You can tell that hardly anyone pays attention to her. She is quite a bit behind speech-wise than my DD. I have a hard time understanding some of her words. By the way, my DD diction and pronunciation has been perfected through preschool! Praise the Lord! She only mispronounces something if she doesn't understand the word completely. (Except hospital which she still calls hostable.) I digress.
So the mom usually pays me for bbsitting - quite well. Usually about $20.00 or so for 7 hours. Its an easy $20.00 since it just gives DD someone to play with. On Wednesday, the mom cut my DD hair for me b/c my DD decided to take scissors to her own hair. It was beyond repair except to cut it off. So she got a cute "stacked" haircut. I will try to post a pic of it soon. so I don't know if I'm gonna get paid for this time or not. We shall see. I don't care about the spending the night part. Except for the fact that last time I watched the little girl, was when the mom called me and imposed upon me asking if I would have a sleepover. I had about 6 hours to prepare. I kinda thought the idea would be fun when she asked, so I was excited to do it, but it bugged me that the mom would have the gall to call me up and ask me that. People, I'm telling you I don't even know her boyfriend's name, or much about her. It's kinda weird that she has me watch her daughter, but I think she either doesn't know what to do with her or she doesn't care to have a relationship with her and finds her a bother. Its sad. I figure that if the little girl comes here, hopefully she can feel Christ's love in our home, and we can show her God's love in how we act and speak as a family.
But this time it has been SOOOOOOOOOOO difficult for me! The girls have been arguing and yelling. Little girl is talking my DD into doing things that my DD knows she is not to do. Little girl heard a song that was playing on the radio (a christian rock and roll radio station we listen to ALL the time) and mistook it for "regular" rap. She told DD and DS#1 that the song was about killing little kids and that we have a bad house that we play bad music. I had walked outside my apt. building to where my DH was rearranging the contents of his work truck and come back in. In the span of a whole 2 minutes, this little girl had upended my two kids (I had taken DS#2 with me) and they were visibly shaken up. I asked what happened and all I could get out of them was that above about the radio station. Oh yeah. And that the little girl saw a man (at some point other than that day) outside our complex and she didn't know him, and that she has seen someone be killed before. This is what my DD told me that the little girl told her while I was outside and my DD said the little girl described what she saw. That's what shook up my kids!!!!!! That got my hackles up, let me tell ya! For a 5 year old to come into my house and tell me I have a bad house and I'm listening to bad music?! But not only that, but to tell my kids about a murder?! You've got to be kidding me! I was FURIOUS!!!! I want to shine my light for Him, but this is too far! I do NOT want my young children exposed to things like that. DH and I are EXTREMELY careful with what we watch on tv when the kids are awake. We generally don't even watch movies that are above PG-13, and even those are getting terrible! I corrected the little girl about the music, telling her that this rap music was about Jesus and His love for us, not that other stuff. And I told her to never ever talk about that other stuff in my house again. I did not do this in a very loving way, but come on! I have to protect my kids! Good grief! People; don't sell your kids short by allowing them to view things you THINK they aren't picking up on. Just because they are in the dining room coloring or playing with toys, it doesn't mean they can't hear or see what you are watching in the other room! Don't expose your kids to things too early. Protect them! Charish them! Shelter them! Especially if they are below school age!
The next problem we had was that we could not get the girls to begin to settle to go to bed until 10:00! I had told my DD that if she was going to have a friend spend the night on a Saturday night, then we were still going to church. (I had previously cleared this with the mom, and we have taken this little girl before). But also, that my DD had to go to bed when I asked, and she said she would. DD fell asleep by 10:50. Both DS were asleep by 10:30. See, the girls were so hyper that they kept the boys up. Little girl didn't fall asleep till 11:30! She kept complaining to me that she couldn't fall asleep. I told her she still needed to lay there. When we did the sleepover, the next day (which was a Saturday) I had asked little girl's mom what time she goes to bed and she kinda just looked at me like she didn't know (which she probably has no idea) and said, "Uh, well, whenever she wants to."
Needless to say, we missed church. I will watch little girl again, but NOT overnight. I am fine with her being dropped of on Sunday at 7:20. I usually have to get up by 6:30 or 7 to get ready for church, anyways.
Then this morning, talked my DD to getting the phone to try to make phone calls. I stepped in and corrected the situation. Nicely. Then they were playing with dolls and the dolls were having an arguement and the little girl (pretending to be a doll) said (to my DD who was pretending to be a different doll) "Fine. I'm gonna hurt you or kill you."
I have not had a chance to talk to DH about this one yet. I think it may be time to sever this friendship on behalf of my daughter. I will talk to the mom about it, though. She is one who will defend her children to the death regardless if they are guilty or not. I have seen her do it with the other neighbors, so I am not looking forward to it. I am praying that I will have a calm and not accusing spirit that she will hear the heart of what I am saying and not get defensive.

Your thoughts? Comments?